Yule Get Nothing and Like It
You’ve let me down again, AT&T.
The [Death] Star of Bethlehem
Every year around the holidays, we put a weird channel on our U-Verse service and let it play for hours on end. It broadcasted 30-minute vignettes of holiday lights, “winter wonderland” vistas, Christmas carols, and, my personal favorite, the Yule Log.
That’s right. I watch a burning log. On television. For a half-hour. Don’t judge. Besides, it’s way more exciting than any of that stuff they put on HGTV…
Alas, it seems that sometime in March of this year, the smackerheads running the American Telephone & Telegraph company decided to remove the Showcase channel, never to return.
I didn’t realize this until we were trimming our Christmas tree and there was no Yule Log channel to be had, anywhere. I was so distraught by this that I called their service line to ask what had happened to the channel, and if it was coming back.
The poor girl I spoke to had absolutely no clue what I was talking about (English was not her first language), and she kept asking me to check various channels to see if they were what I was looking for.
“You try channah 1502?”
“Oh. Hold now.”
“Sure! I appreciate you checkin-”
**Muzak comes on and I wait 5 minutes**
“Sir? You try channah 1265?”
“Um, that’s National Geographic.”
“Oh. Hold now.”
“Sure. Thanks aga-”
**Muzak comes back**
This went on for about 45 minutes until she conferred with a supervisor who said that AT&T Showcase (the actual name of the channel) had been removed and, “there no plan is to put back now.”
So I guess this year we’re going to have to YouTube our Yule Log.
I’m thinking this one…