This one might run the risk of sounding whiny again, but it helps me to process things when I write them down, so bear with me. Or feel free to skip over this post…entirely up to you.
So I have, of late, had trouble finding the time to properly recharge.
I spend my mornings taking care of my daughter until Jen’s mom comes over (which, by the way, has been fantastically helpful and I’m thankful for every single day that she spends with Daphne), then I head to work and spend the rest of the day in the office. My commute home takes about 75 minutes, so I typically roll back into the garage at around 7:30.
At which point I have just enough time to say a quick “hi!” to my wife, daughter and dogs before I have to start making dinner, which I then have to wolf down in a couple minutes so I can get Daphne’s cereal ready and start the nightly feeding.
After which we have bathtime. Then I prep a bottle to get her ready for bed, and by the time all this is finished and I’m saying “goodnight” to my daughter while Jen rocks her to sleep, it’s usually after 9:00. Which means that I don’t start getting a moment to read, reply to messages, browse Facebook, play a game, or basically do anything leisurely until around 9:30pm.
Thing is, my natural response to all this so far has been to just stay up later in an effort to recapture a bit of “me time” while everyone else is asleep. Which, in turn, makes my mornings increasingly difficult as the work week progresses until, by Saturday, I’m so worn out that don’t want to move at all. So, rather than catching up on all the little things that I didn’t have time to take care of during the week, (like getting a haircut, poop sweeping the backyard, trimming the hedges, hanging pictures, replacing our comforter, putting away the bassinet, bringing out the Halloween decorations, draining the hot water heater, culling the cabinets of excess glassware, catching up with friends, going out to dinner, taking Jen autumn candle shopping, etc.), I instead spend the entire day in my pajamas, being an utter slug and simply trying to rest.
It’s very clear to me that this is the wrong strategy; but right now I’m not sure how else to fit in “me time.”
I can’t imagine what it would feel like if I still had Eidolon to take care of. Although perhaps that would’ve helped? A “have to” that would’ve forced me out of the house for a while to spend some time tinkering around on the water? Hmm.
Oh well. No way of knowing now.
Anyway, I’m sure I’ll find a balance somewhere…at some point. But right now it feels like all I’m doing is taking care of other people.
And every single mom and dad out there is nodding their head at me right now and saying, “Uh…yeah. It’s called ‘being a parent‘ you jackass. Duh.”