Summer Arrives
Today marks the end of another school year for Jen, and the beginning of her 3-month summer break.
This will be her first holiday with Daphne the Toddler, as opposed to Daphne the Tiny, Helpless Infant. And the former sounds much more entertaining to me than the latter. D.T.H.I. wasn’t really very interactive.
Unless of course you count fluid liberation, and the subsequent clean-up, as “interactivity.”
In which case she was a barrel o’ Boogie Wipe Funtimes.
I’m told the plan for the summer is lots of pool/splash pad time, a couple days a week of Mother Goose at the local library, and lots of air-conditioned trips around Houston. (This is Texas, after all.)
This just looks hot to me…
I’m hoping a lunchtime exodus or two to Dad’s office might make the docket, and I’m sure Uncle D. would be thrilled to see Daphne.
As to the “play” part of Freeplay Friday, yes I’m still playing Overwatch every night. And yes, I’m mostly having fun doing so.
Mostly.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t rage at the game occasionally, last night very much so.
I was solo queuing (meaning none of my friends were playing), and I was constantly being grouped with slavering hordes of foul, mouth-breathing simps, incapable of interacting with their teammates without the inclusion of racist, misogynistic, and/or profanity-laced verbiage… Or memes. [Read as: teenage boys on the Internet.]
And what’s worse, we were losing. Over and over.
I’d switch away from these toxic teams, and then get grouped with even more teenagers just starting their summer break and the process would start anew.
I think I went 2-10 in pick-up games last night, which did a serious number on the halfway decent win/loss ratio that I had going. For reference, here’s the link to my statistics page:
Yes. I play as “Prophet.” Don’t judge.
But it’s the weekend, and as such the grown-ups should return for the next couple days. Which does much to restore my faith in humanity.
These kids today…
j.s.
Conditioned Response Team
Things have been pretty quiet of late.
Jen is wrapping up her school year and mentally preparing for a summer with Daphne, work has been relatively steady for me, and Daphne is still humming along happily in the comfort of her normal routine.
That said, she did awaken a few times last night and whine/mutter to herself. Each time she did so my eyes would shoot open and I began the Parental Jedi Mind Trick of willing her back to sleep via the baby monitor.
And last night it totally worked.
“You know that doesn’t really work, right?”
It reminded me, though, of how tenuous this whole sleeping situation can be. I hear so many horror stories of babies and toddlers that refuse to go to sleep, and of parents who are subsisting on 2-3 hours of rest per night, and I’m incredibly thankful that I have a child who falls asleep at around 9pm every night, and sleeps straight through until 7:30 most nights.
Of course, now that I’ve said this I’ve totally jinxed it and she’ll suffer her first bout of baby insomnia tonight…
j.s.
Gleaning the Cube
So while this might not qualify as an according to Hoyle “hack,” it is something that I’ve noticed lately.
Daphne friggin’ LOVES her Musical Farmyard Cube, and it has become my go-to toy when I need to distract and/or cheer up my daughter.
Like toddler catnip.
And, before you ask, no I have not been compensated in any way for my opinion on this thing. In fact I only just now found out who made it when I Googled “farmyard cube duck song toy.” I’m just putting it out there for anyone who happens to be in the market for baby toys and is looking for a good one.
Want proof?
Best. Duck song. Ever.
j.s.
[Edit: Okay, second best duck song.]Memories
Ah, Memorial Day.
Perfect for BBQ, beers, and baby pools. All of which were partaken of during the long weekend.
As you can see, Daphne absolutely loathed the entirety of her first pool experience.
And as I’ve mentioned, she currently wants nothing more than to walk around the house, all the time. Which would be fine if she were, you know, good at walking.
She isn’t.
So she requires constant supervision on these little sojourns.
During which her dad has to amuse himself as best he can…
j.s.
Posted: June 6, 2016 · Leave a Comment
Baby First, Father Second
I’ve spoken at great length about the amount of Baby First that’s on the television in our house. That channel is on so often that I can tell what time of day it is depending on which show they’re playing. (And each show is about 3 minutes long.)
But today?
Today I’m feeling a bit slighted by them.
You see, for Mother’s Day, they did this godawful lip sync/karaoke campaign, which ran during EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK.
This song makes me want to cement my eustachian tubes.
And for Father’s Day we get…
4th of July ads.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot, Baby First.
I mean, we haven’t reached Clorox ad levels of offensive, but it’s yet another a small reminder of just how unimportant dads are supposed to be.
Oh, you didn’t see the Clorox ad? I guess that’s not surprising, given how quickly they pulled it down. (It’s even been removed from Google’s caches somehow.)
6 Mistakes New Dads Make
Saying ‘No-no’ is not just for baby. Like dogs or other house pets, new Dads are filled with good intentions but lacking the judgment and fine motor skills to execute well. Here are a few dangerous no-nos new Dads might make, and some training tips.
1. Forgetting weather gear: About 10 minutes into a cold, brisk, rain-soaked stroller walk he might ask himself ‘why is this baby crying so much?’ Then, he might notice the short-sleeved summer onesie Li’l Peach is dressed in and it might dawn on him to bundle that baby.
2. Backwards clothes: Ok, so the clothes might be clean. But is it baby’s jumper fitting oddly? he might notice but he’ll probably think it’s just the style the kids are all wearing. Better educate him that for safety purposes, hip-hop fashions should wait a couple of years.
3. Inappropriate screen time: Does an infant really need to watch reality shows? For that matter, does anyone? Prudence won’t stop Daddy from relaxing with a brew and blaring inappropriate shows while baby stares in horror/awe/wonder at the colorful moving yell-box. Tell Dad to embrace parental sacrifice and crack a book.
4. Forgetting to wipe (face): Baby can’t be blamed for eating like a spastic Harlem Shake dancer. But Dad can be blamed for not noticing the caked-on layer of dried yellowish crust (applesauce? sweet potato? Play-Doh?) surrounding Baby’s mouth and spattered baby food onto her bib.
5. Letting baby eat off floor: If a toy or bit of dried food falls onto the floor, it should really be washed off before baby puts it in his mouth. If Dad is the type to eat food off the floor himself, you have your work cut out for you. At least get him to enforce a 5-second rule.
6. Casino: Some new dads have been inspired by raunchy comedies to bring babies to inappropriate places like casinos, pool halls, and poetry readings. None of these places are healthy for baby. If Dad needs persuading, just tell him that babies are terrible tippers and can never make bank shots.
Hopefully, your new Dad will learn to exercise good judgment in time for baby 2.
Yes, that was really on their website.
“Like dogs or other house pets?” Nice. I guess you moms out there should just be happy that we’ve learned not to chew your shoes and crap on the floor.
Although, it does occur to me that I might be looking at this whole BabyFirst thing the wrong way…
I mean, at least they didn’t make another song.
j.s.