Cribbotine

So, as I alluded to last week, we’ve had to revisit the original plans on our crib and I don’t mean that in an MTV kind of way.

Jen’s parents kept her original crib in storage, with the wonderful assumption that someday her kids would use it.  We took it from them after our house was built, and it’s been in our storage room until last month.  Naturally, I quite liked the idea of using it for Daphne because it has the dual effect of being both nostalgic and, well, gratis.  (Bebes be ‘spensive, yo.)

nursery1

Alas, it would seem that things have changed slightly in the past decade, and drop-side cribs are no longer en vogue and I don’t mean that in an MTV kind of way.  They actually ceased selling them in 2011, because of countless injuries (and over 30 deaths), caused by the hardware that holds the sides up.  Apparently it can give way and drop suddenly, sometimes with baby parts caught in it.  Essentially becoming a cribbotine.  /shudder

We weighed the pros and cons of this, and came to the easy realization that it wasn’t worth the risk, despite how awesome it would’ve been to have two generations of girls that had slept in the same crib.  So we folded the Crib of Damocles back up, and retired it to the attic.

Which meant that my brother and I had to make yet another trek across the freeway to Babies-R-Us during our lunch break, where we shook, pulled, kicked, lifted, and generally tried to break every single crib they had on their showroom floor, just in case Daphne is born with the power of two large men.   (We actually did the same thing a month ago when we were researching stroller/car seat combos.)
Now normally I’d feel bad about behaving in such a manner.  However we started off as personae non gratae over there (apparently it’s socially acceptable to treat men like helpless plebes if they dare to attempt baby shopping without a woman present), and so we feel fine about ignoring all their glaring employees and their choleric protestations of, “are you SURE you guys don’t need any help?

After an hour of cribbly wigglin’, we decided on the following:

derekcribDerek’s first foray into infant furnishings catalog modeling. 

I feel it swaddles the line between sturdiness and femininity quite well, and apparently others have agreed with me as it’s already been blasted off our registry.  Now I just need to find something clever to do with the old crib.  Let me know if you have any ideas.

Maybe I should check MTV…

j.s.

2 Comments on “Cribbotine

Leave a Reply