It’s been a while, so I thought I’d do another breakdown of Daphne’s favorite shows on Baby First.

The Notekins

So these wee devils sit around their tiny castle all day, waiting to receive a letter from a musical instrument they call their “friend.”

With their empty, soulless, plotting eyes…

This in turn prompts a sojourn to find said “friend,” upon which they inevitably run into normal, everyday obstacles on the road that necessitate playing fast/slow music (or high notes/low notes), to surmount.

You know.  Normal things.  Like square-rigged ships.

Then, once they’ve arrived safely at their friend’s home, they display how they can play adagio and/or allegro while dancing around like a cat in a cucumber patch.
Daphne was really into the Notekins for a couple months, but that interest seems to be waning.

Petey the Paintbrush

I ask you, what is this?

Anyone?

Yep.  You’re absolutely right.  It’s totally the handle of a paintbrush.

And it looks nothing at all like a personal relaxation device or anything.

SQUEAK

Oh how we hate Squeak.  Unfortunately it’s the longest show, by far, on the Baby First channel.

That theme music is the harbinger of 20 minutes of mindless torture.

Tog, Toot, and Tizzy are three rats that have clearly died and been sent to limbo, where their souls must entertain children over and over and over in the hopes of eventually being released to the hereafter.  I say this because the stuff going on in this show is creepy as hell.
The clock spins nonsensically.
There’s no ceiling, floor or background; just a white void.
Gravity seems to be rather selective in its constraints.
And these rats do the exact same thing, over and over again.
Fortunately Daphne’s not much of a fan of this one either, so we’ll often get a 15 minute reprieve from Baby First while Squeak runs its course.

Fred & Fiona

Fred and Fiona need to switch to PC, because “Boardy” is the worst computer in history.

Here is the output when Fred & Fiona ask it to draw a “train.”

This time they asked it to draw “shoes.”

And this one was, “draw us a Presidential candidate.”

VOCABULARRY

Vocabularry follows the adventures of Larry the Parrot’s daily quest to learn new words.  I quite like VocabuLarry, although this has more to do with the theme song than with the content of the show.  I find Larry himself to be way too high-strung for my liking.

Seriously.  Calm down, Larry.  It’s just a damn apple.

But he’s saying the same words over and over, and I suppose that’s a good thing for helping kids learn to speak.

So that’s it.  These are the things that play on my 65″ HD entertainment system.
All day.
Every day.
And honestly, if I’d known we’d be watching The Notekins on a loop I might not have paid to have the builders wire my living room for surround sound…

j.s.