And it’s not even coming from my daughter.

(Well, most of it.)

I had an exceptionally long day at the office yesterday, and as I arrived home and opened the door my olfactory bulb was nearly shattered by the smell of Jib egesta.

At least this time he did it on the tile instead of the carpet/rugs.

So I spent the next 20 minutes scrubbing and Lysoling the entire area down before Jen came home with Daphne.

Then, at 3am, Daphne decided it was time for an early morning meet & greet and she stood in her crib and howled until I came upstairs.  I laid her back down, tucked her blanket around her, and sat in the chaise lounge, breathing in the heady aroma of the Pee Pee Efreeti until she went back to sleep.

Then I crept downstairs, got back into bed, and shut my eyes…just as she started crying again.

After waiting for a few minutes to see if she’d stop (no such luck, Dad), I trudged back upstairs and tried to soothe her back to sleep.  And this time no amount of soft words, back rubs, or hair strokes would stop her from spinning around in her bed like a tiny insomniatic turbine.

“Hmm…” I my sleep-deprived mind thought, “I wonder if she’s thirsty?“

So I went downstairs to fill one of her Nalgene bottles with water

The frosting on that cupcake looks somehow familiar.  If it were brown…

I turned the kitchen lights on and the olfactory bulb went off again, this time stronger than before.  (I’ve no idea why my brain needed the lights on to send scent signals…weird.)

“Oh no…“

Oh yes!
A new round of dog diarrhea had been sprayed all over the living room tiles.

I had a few astounded expletives after seeing this, and Jen came out of the bedroom to see what I was going on about.  So she went up to deal with Daphne and I stayed down on poop detail, the whole time blaming Jib for it.

Until I looked down at Alex and saw all the leftover yuck that was still stuck to his ample butt fur.  Which, I must admit, I didn’t get around to cleaning until this morning after breakfast.  (That’s really gross, I know…  But the idea of taking an otherwise aggressive dog outside and hosing him down in the dark was too much to bear at 4am.

Daphne didn’t actually go back to sleep until about 4:15, just as Jen came down to get in the shower and get ready for work.

And I think we’ve decided that, once Jib and Alex are gone, there won’t be any canines in our house for a VERY long while.

j.s.