No Buttah

So I had this thing with Cookie Butter for a while.

For the uninitiated, Cookie Butter is exactly what it sounds like.  Gingerbread cookies, but mashed and emulsified into the consistency of peanut butter.  I first heard about it on a DOTA podcast, of all places, and I randomly decided that I had to taste this fabled substance for myself.


I found some at the local Trader Joe’s and, to give the devil their due, it was pretty damn good stuff.   But I also noticed that they were rationing jars of it.


Naturally, my ‘Murican mind starts to wonder how I might capitalize on a thing that’s in high demand, but has a low supply.  So I go home and start working on creating my own cookie butter.

I do a bit of research.  Find a few recipes online. And get to destroying a kitchen in a way that only I can.  I even go so far as to purchase in an entreprenurial frenzy.

But, instead of the delicious and creamy texture that’s so delectably evident in the first picture, mine ends up coming out the consistency of pulped lamb jerky.

cookiemushjarMmmm…  Gritty.

theircookiebutter2Here’s theirs.

Here’s mine.



This failure sets off a chain reaction where I start haranguing every family member that’s a better cook than I am (which is, essentially, all of them), about how they might go about making this stuff.  I get lots of suggestions and I try each and every one of them.

Sadly, they all end up the same way.

cookiemushprocessor1    cookiemushprocessor


So I put aside my dreams of becoming the Cookie Butter King of Chicago, and forget about the whole thing.

Until this week.

Monday, I received an email from GoDaddy Auction Services asking if I’d be interested in selling my website,, for $550.

I ponder this for a moment.  I mean, it’s not like I’m doing anything with it…
And it is costing me $15 per year to renew it…  (Along with this site,,,, and several others.)  So I make up my mind to go ahead and sell it.

I counter back with $2,500.
They volley.
I haggle.
Back and forth we go.

And today, we finally settled on $2,000 cash.

It does occur to me that the purchaser is likely to be Trader Joe’s corporation, or Speculoos themselves, and I probably could’ve milked this thing for way more cash.  But considering I spent a grand total of $50 on the domain, I think I’m comfortable walking away with a $1,950 profit.

Hmm.  I wonder what someone will give me for


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